How Would You Rank These Two Landing Pages on the Bull’s Eye Chart?

I often find it helpful to compare what works and doesn’t work in a promo.  Or at least, what’s effective or non-effective.

When you place two ideas side by side a lot of clarity comes through, especially if you use my Bull’s Eye chart for measuring creativity. 

It looks like this:

The idea is that the outermost X represents the first solution to the problem.  The innermost X represents what happens when you don’t allow your idea to “close” the first time through.  It’s a graphic representation of pushing until you get a truly creative idea, the kind that moves to the inner rings.

So let’s take a look at several recent landing pages/promo ideas and see where we think they might fall on this scale. (By the way, you can find these on https://funnel-scanner.onrender.com/)

This could be a back-end or front-end single stock tease.  (As a side note, the lead is a track record schtick that doesn’t really work… but I’m gonna save that for reference. In another missive I’ll show you what works and what definitely does not work when using track records; how they can either make or break your promo.)

So let me skip to the chase here.  I’d rank this copy at the very superficial level on my Bulls-Eye Chart. Meaning, it’s more along the very first solution to the problem, and really closer to a rough draft than a finished idea.   The outermost ring.

And, having worked in this business for 20 years I can likely guess how it came into being.  The guru had a good stretch of trades… made his avid readers some money… and someone said, “Wow, this is soooo good let’s do a promo on it.  This guy is killing it and once we show people what he’s done, they naturally want to buy this in huge quantities.”

NOT.

Fact is, track record promos are NOT easy to do… They are NOT necessarily fast to write. And they’re NOT necessarily effective. (More on that at a later date.)

So, this has a couple of main problems with it.  Lack of interest… lack of s main idea… and lack of internal logic.

“

Top rated stock picker…”  I’m gonna stop right there.  How generic can we get?

Makes a bold prediction… The top stock is NOT an AI company.  Shocking, just shocking.  And defining it by what it’s not does not  help.

Track record gains…. woulda, shoulda, coulda!  Who cares? The past is the past. Over. Done with. Nada.

Then we get to a “new tech breakthrough.”  Sounds like this should be the big promo idea. 

And finally a promise of the future (“will sweep the market off its feet”).  About as anemic and generic a promise as can be made.

If you follow this through, you can see that the promise of something NOT being AI is, well, kinda weird.  The statements don’t have an internal logic. And the crux of the idea is buried and generic.  Track record is past tense, so to speak, and there’s nothing concrete coming in the future.

Anyway, not to slam anyone’s work… I've been in situations where I’ve written far worse. Situations in which we’re trying to say everything on the landing page… and end up saying nothing. 

Now, let’s look at anther promo:

 I’d say this comes in on the inner rings of my Bull’s Eye Scale.  First off, the trust Fund Idea is unique.  In 20 years I’ve never seen it used in this way.  And, making the leap from America’s resources to trust fund took some doing.  If the writer came up with this in a day, my hat’s off to him or her. It can happen, but I’d wager this took more than a week and is not the first solution to the problem.

Once you get to the deck copy, the metaphor is nicely extended with “Birthright” and cements the internal logic. And it ends with a rationale that adds proof and timeliness.

The promise is in the form of a quote, which gives it outside verification, even though the promo is built around Richards.  It’s future looking and the promise is big and clear.

It’s all one idea that takes the reader deeper as it unfolds. It’s really excellent on the levels of uniqueness, internal logic, with a nice combination of emotion and reason.

It’s always easier to write about copy in its rough form, at the earliest solutions to the problem, than about a great, polished idea in final form.

How much AI went into these. I don’t know.  I imagine a good deal in the bodies.  At least I hope so.  Remember, AI is your junior writer… one  you can hire to give you rough copy for about $20 a month. More on that to come.

In the meantime, make sure you sign up for all my posts, videos and copy reviews. I'll be sending them to your email each week. Plus, I will be looking at copy folks are working on now, helping them to achieve the results they desire - and deserve!

All the Best,

Mike